Have you ever been accused of having selective memory? As if it’s the crime of the century!
Well, most people would define “selective memory” in a negative way—indicative of deceit, flakiness or other horrific character flaws.
Most people value realism, facts, and accuracy more than fantasy and as-of-yet unformed possibilities. Most people stay focused on observing “what is” and what has been. . . rather than turning their attention to “what could be.” But have you noticed that most people are not happy and are not manifesting what they want?
When you talk about your past, do you feel compelled to include the unsavory parts, as well as the wonderful parts?
We are culturally conditioned to tell “The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth” and, as upstanding citizens, we generally play along with this belief system. That is, until we stop and examine it. . . and realize that playing those reindeer games isn’t necessarily conducive to our personal happiness.
The real truth is that YOUR truth has many components. What you divulge to others, and what you choose to ruminate on (or not) is YOUR business.
When you talk about your future, do you feel compelled to “be realistic” and dampen down the level of awesomeness you truly desire? Are you afraid that others will label you a braggart, or a head-in-the-clouds airy-fairy type?What if you were to wake up tomorrow a changed person—one who spends zero time and energy focusing on what other people might think of you? That would be pretty sweet, wouldn’t it!?
If you’re concerned about being judged, take a look at how you are judging yourself. Because the truth is, no one can give you criticism or judgment without your agreement. It’s like those spam-leaflets people hand out on the street: you have to extend your arm and open your hand in order for them to transfer it to you.
Perhaps you cringe at having to explain your own (shaky) faith in as-of-yet-unseen manifestations to someone else of little faith. Well, if that’s the case, ‘tis better to be vague, or even silent and smiling, than to compromise yourself by supplying a watered-down, negative-nelly, “this is all I can expect” version of your story. When you stand in your Truth, you become a way-shower for others to snap out of the victimhood slumber. (Yes, you are a light-worker. Yeah, you!)
And what if the other people ask needling questions about your story, or make authoritatively negative proclamations? Have a comeback ready to use. If you’re sassy like me, you can simply chirp: “Irrelevant!” and move on. If you’re not feeling that sassy, you might want to try something like: “well, I find that dwelling on the negative does not benefit anyone.”
You can give yourself permission to embrace selective memory—not just in reframing memories of the Past, but in selecting the pleasing parts of your present landscape and “future memory” as well. You can decide to speak about what you love while minimizing or disregarding the rest.* You can sign your own permission slip, despite what most people are doing or what most people expect you to do in their presence.
Do it because you love yourself and you feel worthy of all the goodies that Life is lining up for you. Telling stories that match up more closely with what you want helps the universe deliver the goods.
So the next time someone asks you about your romantic history, your financial and search your memory banks for the most pleasing aspects of your story to share. You might even want to pre-rehearse your Selective Soliloquy by reviewing your past through the lens of Appreciation right now. And when your peeps pipe up and say, “You’ve got selective memory!” you can answer with a smile, “You bet your sweet ass I do! And I highly recommend that you do the same.”
Pollyanna knew what she was doing.
* Not to be confused with sweeping your “stuff” under the rug, the point here is simply to create for you a Permission Slip to stop playing by limiting societal rules!